Some Thoughts by an Honorary Blogger: Danica Blauer

In prayer, we are encouraged to thank the Lord for the blessings we have received. The Lord has been very generous when it comes to me and blessings, I have a good life and there’s not much room for complaint.  When times get hard it seems like it’s more difficult to see all that you’re blessed with, but as the saying goes, I still ‘count my blessings’ and most of the time I come out on top as far as the blessings to shortcomings ratio goes. There is one blessing in particular that I’m especially grateful for, her name is Courtney Amber Bardsley.

Today is five years that Courtney has been in remission, and I hope and pray fervently that she remains there.  Doctors warn her otherwise but I’m still hopeful and praying for her with all my might.  To say Courtney has been through a lot would probably be the biggest understatement of the century, but in true Courtney fashion, she’s still smiling.

Courtney has a kind of strength that I could only hope to have one day.  She faces her problems head-on, and it seems like she does so without fear.  But then again, with the family that she’s got standing behind her and supporting her, bravery only makes sense.  On the contrary, when things go terribly awry I find myself wanting to hide away in my room, lock the door and wait for it to be over.  I know this isn’t the best way to deal with life’s struggles, but all the times that I’ve weakly taken to that locked room in the last year, Courtney has come and locked herself away with me and I didn’t feel quite so alone. (Side note: my family is very loving and supportive too, it’s just my nature to want to hide). 

  

Courtney is smart, funny and cares about others in a way that a mother cares about her children.  It’s the reason why I call her Mama Court, she’s giving, she’s caring, she’s open, she’s protective and the love she has for others is unwavering and unconditional.  When she says it’s going to be okay, I believe her. I may be the only one who feels that way but I’ve got a hunch that Courtney brings this comfort to mostly everyone in her life.

She tells people like it is, I can always count on Courtney to tell me the truth; if I’m in the wrong, she’s going to let me know.  It’s important to have people like that in life, people who care enough to give it to you straight even if it hurts.  And she knows what she wants, sometimes to the point of being stubborn.  Some people may find this aspect in someone’s personality as something that isn’t necessarily positive but as someone who never knows what they want and is more or less a push-over, it’s a quality I greatly admire. I would be lying if I said I didn’t like making people laugh, I do, a lot, and Courtney is one of my favorites to make laugh.  Getting a laugh out of Courtney is not a difficult task, it’s so easy I wouldn’t even call it a task, and her laugh is so contagious that whoever is near her usually starts laughing too.  I’m usually that person.

I don’t know what I would do without Courtney.  I went twenty one years of my life without her in it, but now that she is, I can’t imagine my life and Courtney not being there.  One thing is for sure, there wouldn’t be nearly as much sunshine (that’s a metaphor).  In a perfect world we would remain as close of friends as we are now and I there’s nothing would love more than that.  But if we’re being realistic, which is something I hate being, there’s a possibility that at one time or another we will not share the friendship that we do today.  This is not something I want to happen, it’s not something I even want to think about happening, but I know we can’t live 39 steps (yes, I counted) away from each other forever.  There’s a chance that in the future miles will separate us.  Maybe it’ll be for only a short period of time, maybe it’ll be longer than that.  Maybe I’ll have to get creative to keep the relationship with I have with Courtney the way it is now, my options include but are not limited to the following:

·     I could throw myself down a flight of stairs turning myself into a paraplegic and forcing Courtney to be a live-in nurse for the rest of my life (yes, I would resort enslavement, it’s totally worth it on my end).

·      I could get a pet dolphin and tell Courtney she can come over and play with it whenever she wants. (There’s no doubt in my mind that Courtney would buy the house next door, but this would require me to win the lottery).
·      I might be able to trick one of her brothers into marrying me, making my sisterhood with Courtney official (this enslavement thing seems to be a theme but they know Court, they would understand, maybe they’d even be cool with it). 

Oh wait... I forgot I was being realistic, reality can be a terrible thing sometimes.  And sadly, all of my options either involve animal cruelty or some form of slavery, but they are simply a means to an end… Brutus would totally get it.  So, choosing from the options above with realistic likelihood in mind, it looks like paraplegia is in my future.  First class parking spots here I come.

But if my fears should come true there is something I am certain of: I can say confidently, there’s not a doubt in my mind, that Courtney will always be my friend and I will always hold her in very high regard.  There will never be a time in my life when I won’t be there for Courtney if she should ever need me and I know I will always be able to count on her too. 

It’s hard for me to believe all that Courtney has been through, and though I’m sorry she had to experience it and wish she never had and I hope she never does again, there’s a part of me that’s glad she did, I’d go as far to say that I’m even grateful that she did.  I appreciate her struggles because they have helped shape her into who she is today and the person that Courtney is today is someone quite lovely. 

Whether I’m crying over a sick relative, or frustrated to the hilt with something completely futile and not making any sense, or crashing a golf cart into a brick wall, Courtney has been right next to me and has never bailed on me, even when I crashed that golf cart into a brick wall.

I feel special for receiving the love that Courtney has shown me and the friendship she has given me.  Then I think about it again, and if I’m being realistic, I’m sure everyone in Courtney’s life thinks that they’re special for their relationship with Courtney, but that’s just how she is; she makes everyone feel special and makes everyone feel like her best friend.  However, seeing as I don’t like thinking in realistic terms, I’m going to keep telling myself that I am but I guess that wouldn’t be a lie.  I’m special because I’ve been able to call myself a friend of Courtney’s, only me and a couple hundred (facebook claims 923) other lucky people can say that. This exclusive group of nine hundred and twenty three plus people are some of the luckiest and most blessed people on this planet and it’s all because of Courtney.

  Harold B. Lee said, “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you.  It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life.”  Whether it was a conscious decision or not, I think it’s something Courtney lives her life by, and the rest of us should follow her example. (Disclaimer: I stole this quote off her blog, but I thought it to be rather fitting).